Her beauty had been a well-kept secret, jealously guarded by me.I knew that Rachel would enhance her chances for getting the job if she wore a short skirt and a low-cut blouse, but I wasn't quite sure how to convince her to do so. I decided to go shopping with her to pick out clothes for the job interview. She started out looking at the racks of business suits and other conservative cuts. As she came out of the dressing room to show me her choices, I found one reason or another to find fault with them. Finally, she asked me to help her pick out something. I picked out a silky, see-through, cream-colored blouse and a black short skirt with a slit up the thigh. She took one look at my choice, and said, "What kind of a job do you think I'm applying for?" I answered that I knew who she was applying to work for, and that Mr. Daley would probably hire her if she wore what I picked out, but that she had no chance for the job whatsoever if she played it straight.Rachel looked at me in. I had my fortieth birthday the previous August. A feeling that time is running out and dumped twice by Moody during the summer but asked back on each occasion to which I had said yes – I love her but my loyalty and devotion seem to count for nothing. Hedonism is all I appear to have left. Or is that just an excuse for my immoral behaviour? Do I believe my own lies in order to really deceive others more skilfully? I’m having a mid-life crisis. Fack. My whole life has been a facking crisis: c***dhood anxiety giving way to teenage angst. I pick up a copy of The Daily Sport which a passenger has given me from the day before. I read the ‘massage’ ads. One stands out: Blonde 21 year old with tanned 36-24-36 figure, Bournemouth. I ring the number. She’s working today. I know it’s illicit… and that’s what makes it exciting. What if I get caught? I ask myself… think of the shame. You won’t get caught… it’ll be fun! I’m in a dilemma. I toss a coin – tails. I go. I catch a bus to Yarmouth, a.
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